


Other Way to Protect Him

by yeolkim92ifah



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Dark, Death, Disease, Easing Burden, M/M, Murder, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 21:28:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1663073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeolkim92ifah/pseuds/yeolkim92ifah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ninomiya wanted Sakurai Sho to be less burdened. He wanted to make the man free from everything. He thought it would make both party happy. But his action was against the law.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Other Way to Protect Him

He sat in the interrogation room with handcuffs around his wrist. The room was really quiet, a slightest shift would be noticed at this rate. The silence made the tension in the room went higher, along with the air around that went colder. He shivered a bit, feeling a cold although there wasn’t any air conditioner in the room. Even his very low swishing voice sounded too loud.

“Ninomiya-san, why did you kill him?” Detective Ohno asked carefully and calmly. He tried to control his voice as low as possible. Even with low voice it still echoed a little.

Ninomiya didn’t answer. Instead, he started to chuckle and smirked. His eyes wouldn’t meet Ohno, Eyes wandering around to the every corner of the obviously-there-was-nothing-to-look-at room. His head cocked everywhere, he couldn’t stay sitill. With a few forced sigh, he finally answered.

“Even if I tell you, will you understand? No, right?” he laugh mockingly. This time he was staring at Ohno, but only for a few second before he avert his gaze again.

He flicked his hands and moving his legs up and down, following the melody that he created with his flicked fingers, mouth forming an o as he started to whistle as well. His facial expression was calm, no hint of being nervous or panic or that kind of feeling like a normal people who locked up in the interrogation room with the Detective who just looked like a reporter.

Ohno, the detective in charge, just let out a deep sigh as he saw Ninomiya’s attitude. He was the culprit, he did a thing that against the law and human rights, but he just sat there with no hint of guilty, as if he had done nothing wrong. Moreover, the one he killed, as the data said, it was his own lover, someone he loved very much, someone important to him. Was there any kind of human being who killed the one they loved? He didn’t understand this man. Was this man a psycho or something?!

“Ninomiya-san, the deceased is a very dear person to you, right? Why did you kill him? Usually, people will try to protect the one who are dear to them, but you’re different.” The detective tried to asked him again, still with a calm and reassuring tone. Ohno was being Ohno. He was indeed irritated by Ninomiya’s attitude, but this was his method, he tried to approach him so that he could open up his heart to him.

Ninomiya snorted and twitched his lips. There was a long pause of silence filling the room. It made the atmosphere became gloomier.

“I did it for him.” Ninomiya said with hoarse voice.

“To him, dying early like that was painful.”

Ohno continued, “You’ve might considered it as your calling, but you’ve commit a crime against him.”

“Everyone wants to go to Heaven, but no one wants to die. Even if you die you can’t accept that fact.” Ninomiya started, his voice almost sounded like a mumble. He gazed at nowhere past Ohno.

Ninomiya continued, “I wanted to do something that could ease his burden.”

“Enduring that pain was his burden to bear.” Ohno said slightly correcting.

“No. That is just the excuses of those who left behind.” His eyes started to show a glimpse of sadness, and it met Ohno’s. But although their eyes met, Ohno knew Ninomiya wasn’t there. His mind wandered somewhere.

 

_It had been five years, but Ninomiya still could bring back every second of moments in that certain day. When they sat under the tree, his head resting on the man beside him. The cold wind blew through them, made a contact with their warm face, messing with the man’s bangs that fell across his forehead gently, before it went down through the hill. They were gazing forward beyond, didn’t see anything, didn’t see anyone, the only thing they saw was a horizon of blue sky with a sprinkle of clouds. It was just the two of them._

_They both closed their eyes, letting themselves immersed in the sound of the branch brushing against each other, sometimes it mingled with the chirp of birds. The silent was just perfect; it could ease the heavy hearts. Somehow it calmed Ninomiya’s feeling after a shocking confession that he heard from the man’s lips, although maybe it was just last for a moment._

_“Sho, really? Are you really suffering from that disease?” Ninomiya asked, still couldn’t believe what he had heard before._

_“Yes, Kazu. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.” Sakurai said, caressing Ninomiya’s hair._

_“No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t notice it earlier. I know it must been painful to you, with that kind of disease.” Ninomiya’s voice started to shaken._

_“Will you be okay without me? I’m worried about you.”_

_“I don’t know.” Ninomiya closed his eyes, inhaling the fresh air through his nasal cavity._

_Autumn had come, but it wasn’t a pleasant moment._

_It was that time when Sakurai’s illness getting worse. He often went in and out of hospital, and stayed there for more than a week._

_And that was the day when it end._

_The medical machine was attached to him. He had to wear oxygen mask. His face was pale like a corpse. He was in a critical condition. And Ninomiya was sitting beside the bed._

_“Kazu, will you be okay without me?” his voice was low and powerless._

_Ninomiya didn’t answer. He just stare at him with a swollen eyes, but his face harden, tried to not showing any emotion._

_“How could I leave you alone?” Sakurai said, he shed tears._

_“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to worry about me.” Nino said with a stern face._

_Ninomiya didn’t want to see Sakurai suffering like this again, it was enough for him. He didn’t want to see his beloved person burdened, by him, by his illness, everything. Ninomiya just wanted him to be free, free from his pain, free from that burden he carried, free with the guilty feeling with the thought of leaving him._

_So he decided._

_“You can leave freely.” Ninomiya held Sakurai’s hand, “That way, I think I’ll be happy too.”_

_His hand reached for the oxygen mask that Sakurai was wearing with a trembling hands, “I’ll make you feel free.”_

_“Sorry for being late.” Ninomiya took off the mask from Sakurai. And the tears were rolling down uncontrollably from his swollen eyes._

_“I love you, Sho.” He stood and brought his face closer to Sakurai to capture his lips for the last time. It was a short kiss but warm with an overflowing feeling that couldn’t be described._

_“Thank you. I love you, Kazu.” Sakurai managed to say breathlessly._

_Ninomiya’s expression remained unchanged; it was like those criminals with no hearts. But no, Ninomiya still had a heart. It was just different._

_The number, which indicated the heartbeat rate in the electrocardiogram, was getting lower with such speed_

_And after a few seconds, the beep sound can be heard, and the heartbeat rate was turned into a zero._

Perfect death with no regret, lingering desires, or pain exist depend on your point of view. To a person who had a painful life, death could be a hope. And to a person who believe they’ve always been behind, death could be the finish line. It was hard to come with a conclusion. But there was something that could be sure of, death only belong to the dying person, whether they had a happy or sad life, but of course it exclude suicide.


End file.
